Random, but I'm pretty sure The Holiday is one of my favorite movies ever. When Jude Law cries at the end...it's all over. I'm lazing around in bed, snuggling my puppy, and enjoying this movie (again). And, wishing I was with Stewart on his birthday...but army duty calls.

Turns out I dont know myself very well...

So, here's the first problem. I can't stop watching bride movies. I wanted a baby...I was indifferent to the wedding...and then, well something happened. And now, I'm a bit obsessed. And we aren't even officially engaged yet. I pour over wedding magazines and pick apart the pictures. I make lists of things that seem important and then I remake them. I debate over plum and aluminum as opposed to plum and silver. I write dates down and try to determine if I like how the numbers look for an anniversary. It's so stressful, all the thinking...and I can't stop doing it. But I'll admit, I'm having fun. I am. It's exciting. It's so exciting to finally get to imagine something happening that I never thought was going to. So, now I lay awake at night at watch Bride Wars. And Bridesmaids. And Father of the Bride. And Something Borrowed. And...I get teary eyed. I get a huge lump in my throat when I imagine the moment I will stand across from the man I love and say "I do." It feels so much sweeter than I imagined it would. I'm so much more into this than I thought I would be. And even though in my heart I know it's only one day in our life, and the price tag I am sure it is going to come out to is a waste of a shit ton of money... I deserve it, and more than that, I WANT it. I REALLY want it. I didn't think I did, I didn't think I had a bridezilla bone in my body. Turns out I was wrong. I want the whole fairy tale package.

Well, amen...I can finally blog from my IPad...which is basically the only "computer" I use anymore. I can update more, so that's exciting! What's not super exciting is that there are 9 months left until Stewart gets put of the army, and next week he leaves for the two month field project, during which there will only be 4 days I can talk to him. That sucks and it's making me particularly crabby. I know 9 months isn't really that long in the grand scheme of things, and that by the time this shit is over it will only be 7 months, but it feels like fucking forever. I'm tired of waiting. It feels like all I ever do is wait.

I'm annoyed. Like seriously annoyed. And let's be honest...99% of this annoyance stems from pms. But, any which way you look at it, I'm still annoyed. I should be overwhelmingly past being surprised at people that turn out how to have ulterior motives for being friends or just turn out to be or into disappointing assholes. But it never ceases to amaze me.