Turns out I dont know myself very well...

So, here's the first problem. I can't stop watching bride movies. I wanted a baby...I was indifferent to the wedding...and then, well something happened. And now, I'm a bit obsessed. And we aren't even officially engaged yet. I pour over wedding magazines and pick apart the pictures. I make lists of things that seem important and then I remake them. I debate over plum and aluminum as opposed to plum and silver. I write dates down and try to determine if I like how the numbers look for an anniversary. It's so stressful, all the thinking...and I can't stop doing it. But I'll admit, I'm having fun. I am. It's exciting. It's so exciting to finally get to imagine something happening that I never thought was going to. So, now I lay awake at night at watch Bride Wars. And Bridesmaids. And Father of the Bride. And Something Borrowed. And...I get teary eyed. I get a huge lump in my throat when I imagine the moment I will stand across from the man I love and say "I do." It feels so much sweeter than I imagined it would. I'm so much more into this than I thought I would be. And even though in my heart I know it's only one day in our life, and the price tag I am sure it is going to come out to is a waste of a shit ton of money... I deserve it, and more than that, I WANT it. I REALLY want it. I didn't think I did, I didn't think I had a bridezilla bone in my body. Turns out I was wrong. I want the whole fairy tale package.