In case you had a burning desire to know these things about me...

There's one thing I have always noticed about myself and my writing habits. When I'm miserable, I write...a lot. When I'm happy, I sometimes end up with writer's block. I guess maybe I use writing the same way that I use reading, as an escape. I am currently not trying to escape from anything, so I find I don't have as much to say. I did find a story I started writing several years ago. I think I might start blogging that in parts and see how that goes. Maybe it will help me finish it.

Also, I have neurotic rituals. I really do. Like, for instance, if I get a glass of tap water, I have to rinse the glass out a certain number of times. There is a reason for this number, but I'm not going to get into my OCD lol.

One Tuesday night, my roomie and I went downtown and had an amazing night. We started the evening with take-out from Panera. So, every Tuesday night for about 2 years, I insisted we eat Panera before we went downtown. In my mind, if I deviated from the events of the first Tuesday, I would be screwing up the system.

When we used to go out, I would have to put my make-up on in a certain order.

For YEARS, I literally wore only 2 shades of nail polish. Bright pink in the spring and summer; red in the fall and winter. I am not kidding. I never deviated from this for that same 'screwing up the system' reason.

I never wanted anything to change, so I realize I was trying to control things that I could and keep them from changing.

And then, it occurred to me one day that all these things I was doing to try to keep things the way they were were stupid. Why? Because things the way they were pretty much sucked. So, last year for my birthday I got a manicure and I painted my nails purple. It sounds dumb, but that was a huge step for me. Look at me! I have purple nails in November and the sky is not falling! And so little by little, tiny thing by tiny thing, I began to let go of all the control. So what if I have a chip in my nail polish. So what if I eat pizza on Tuesday.

And you know what, I'm way happier. It's fall now, and my nails are orange. Bright, Halloween pumpkin orange. I love them.

Sometimes, all it takes is a small change or a little bit of letting go to make all the OUT of order in your life fall IN order.