New season, new beginnings...

I woke up this morning and felt fall in the air. It was the first time in months I've gone outside and it hasn't been already immediately super hot.

Not that I mind when it's hot...that's why I live here, lol...but when it cools down just a little bit and I know that all my favorite times of the year are coming up, well, it's exciting. Especially because last year was basically a big, fat ruin from start to finish.

Last fall started out shitty and got progressively worse...culminating in the purchase of an impromptu flight to Dallas on Halloween weekend, and me sobbing so hard in the airport I couldn't even get on the plane. The proverbial bottom had dropped out...and really, there was nowhere to go but up. It's been a roller coaster of a year, to say the least, but it's the start of a new season, and maybe the best one yet.

I reconnected with Kat that Halloween weekend, and our friendship has grown progressively closer over the last year. I met Jamie and I know she will be a lifelong friend. I've gotten to see Heather three times in the last year, and that's a recent record.

Ryan, Heather, and I are all in relationships that seem healthy and happy...a slow going road for all three of us.

I am making as many positive life changes as I can and finally trying to concentrate on my own happiness and well-being ahead of everyone else's...and not in a selfish way, but in a healthy way. In a way that makes me a better person, friend, sister, daughter, lover, employee. It only took me 34 years to realize that if I was spending all my time and energy trying to make everyone else happy, I was not only going to fail at that, but I was going to lose my sense of self as well.

This fall is starting out a very positive note. I am going back to El Paso in a month to spend another great weekend with Stewart. I am going to San Diego to spend time with my entire family...mom, dad, Rick, Molly, Alix & Cade...and not only that, but I will get to spend Halloween with them, my most favorite holiday. I will turn 23 again...and will celebrate my birthday doing whatever I want with whomever (except, unfortunately Stewart...who will be working) I want and I'll eat french fries and cake and Benihana and I won't apologize for any of it. I will spend Thanksgiving with Stewart and my friends and maybe I can even talk my parents into making it down...and I feel like I will have more to give thanks for this year than ever before.

I hope that the momentum continues and that we all remain happy and healthy as we finish out 2011 :)