Post Cruise Thoughts...

So, I went on another New Kids on the Block cruise.
Last year I was a fucking convert. I sang the praises of this vacation to everyone that would listen. I wanted EVERYONE that I knew to come on it and have as much fun as I did.  It was life changing last year. I know that sounds cliche, but it was. I felt like I was ok just the way I was. I felt like for the first time in my adult life (and this doesn't sound like a big deal but it is) that I could wear shorts and not feel self-conscious. I didn't walk off that boat feeling let down or depressed that my vacation was over. I walked off the boat feeling like I had just done the best thing for myself that I could have at the time. I did something JUST FOR ME. Something crazier than most of the other shit that I do on a daily basis. It was perfection.

And there was no doubt, absolutely no doubt, that this year I would again be on that boat.
I couldn't have been more excited.

But this year, the boat was different.
I can't say exactly what changed.

We left from a different port and the weather was balls the whole time. It was cold. It was overcast. It was windy. It was not the tropical vacation I signed up for.

The boat was different, the lido deck was different, and that made the parties not as great as last year. Because half the people couldn't see WTF was going on.

Donnie is engaged this year.  And so he's different. In a hypocritical way. The oath didn't say to leave your husbands behind this year.  And since it has said that for 5 years, it kind of makes you feel like it was ok when it was all of our relationships we were forgoing for 5 days, but now that it's HIS, it isn't. He didn't take his shirt off one fucking time. I mean listen, it's you SHIRT.  Do you plan to wear your shirt to the beach? Shirtless dudes are not really all that uncommon. I don't begrudge his relationship. I do begrudge that my $2000 vacation included Jenny McCarthy's dad and sister twerking onstage. I do begrudge that it made some of us feel awkward. He said last year, for those few days, we all belong to each other.  But we didn't this year. We watched Donnie and his babysitters. And it was WEIRD. I have always said there is the BlueBloods Donnie and the DDub Donnie. We got the BlueBloods Donnie this year. And it kind of sucked.

There were cameras ALL over the boat this year, filming for the reality show. Donnie promised they would not be in anyone's way. They were. And they were bullshit too. They cast my friend, a gay man, as a dude picking up chicks at a bar. Reality my ass.  I get that you want to make as much money as you can, but not at the expense of my vacation.

There is more I could say, good and bad.  But I've said enough. Last year, I had no post-cruise depression. This year, I do. This year, I feel like I didn't get what I paid for. I still had fun, don't get me wrong. I will still go again next year, I'm sure. But I hope there are some changes made. Because the more I begin to feel like simply a cash cow, the less inclined I'm going to be to fork over all my fucking money.