Things that feel good...

I feel kind of like I have spent the majority of my adult life worrying.

About love.
About what's going to happen next.
About trust.
About money.
About blind faith.
About whether I was good enough, or thin enough, or pretty enough.

And the sad thing is, I remember being 13 or 14 years old and worrying about most of that same stuff. Of course it didn't help being a chubby adolescent with a flair for wearing a ponytail bouncing around on top of my head ( a teeny bopper ponytail, Christina used to call it, lol) and pink Natural Wonder lipstick.

I was just looking at some old photo albums and laughing at my blonde hair, and my red hair, and how I feel like I was always trying to be someone else...except you could always see a little bit of me sneaking through the facade.

What feels good is to FINALLY be at a place where you suddenly realize that maybe you don't have to worry so much. Love and tust and blind faith are things you just have to believe in. You just have to live it and not worry about it. You can't force love. You earn trust by simply being yourself and being a good person. You have to have that blind faith to believe in miracles and happily ever afters and a higher power.

You also can't spend every second worrying about what's going to happen next because then you are missing what's happening right now. And the fact of the matter is, if you have to be so concerned about what's to come, then you probably aren't on the right path anyways. It took a really long time for me to figure that out.

Maybe for the first time in my whole life I feel like I am on the right path. All those twists and turns and detours I took...they finally got me to the right location, and here I am. And I'm doing my very best to enjoy the ride, take each moment as the gift that it is, and have blind faith that my trust is not misplaced, and that love is growing.