Late night wisdom from the amazing Ms. J...

Ms. J has been trying to convince me to remove someone from my life...I shouldn't even say convince, because I don't need convincing, I know she's right, lol...but I've been dragging my feet a bit. Partly because I have that disease where you keep looking for and expecting the best to come out of people, even when they have shown that clearly there is no 'best' in them to wait for. Partly because I hate the finality of things...once it's done, it's done.

So last night, she gave me 10 reasons (and even a bonus 11th) why I need to do this. I need to share a couple highlights with you, because she is amazing and right and because these are things that everyone needs to hear sometimes. I hope she doesn't mind my sharing of her wisdom and insight...

- "You should never settle for people in your life who do not add to it in a positive, healthy way. People should challenge you, not hurt you."

-"Never ever ever allow someone to make you feel like you aren't worth their honesty."

-"You teach people how to treat you. But most importantly you teach yourself how to let other people treat you. You have gotten into the very unfortunate habit of letting people treat you like you are less than a person. Almost like a commodity that can be bought and sold by the giving or withholding of attention. You, my dear, are not a commodity. You a person, with feelings. Who deserves attention. But the RIGHT kind of attention. The kind of attention that is given because you are awesome and special and caring and kind. The kind of attention that comes with love. Like that you get from your parents, or from BGF, or even me. You teach people how to treat you including teaching yourself how to treat you. I'm not talking about loving yourself before you can love others, blah blah blah...I'm talking about remembering to give yourself the basic human respect you would give anyone else. Do not teach yourself that the way this person is treating you is ok. Do not teach that person that they way they are treating you is ok. Do not teach yourself that the way YOU are treating you is ok. It's not. On any of those accounts."

-"This person adds no value to your life. They have no redeeming qualities. None. Not one. Not a single one at all. There is nothing good about this person. At all. Good people don't do these things. I don't give a fuck if they help old ladies cross the street and saves puppies from burning houses. They're still not a good person. Things that don't add value to your life...they need to go."

I saved the entire list so that I can refer back to it when I am tempted (as I will be) to settle for less than I deserve as a person. I am so appreciative of her taking the time (and getting thumb cramps ;) to remind me of all of this.