A public service announcement...

So, I'm trying to figure something out, and I just can't. It dawned on me today watching someone I know deal with a shitty relationship...and made me think of several other people I know that are in somewhat of the same situation...and in turn that made me think of things I've gone through, and damn it, I'm confounded.

When you are in a relationship, it's supposed to be easy. I don't mean easy like you don't have to work at it or put any effort into it, because of course that isn't true. By easy I mean it's not supposed to be the biggest source of misery in your life. It's not supposed to make you cry more than you laugh. It's supposed to be positive and healthy. So for God's sake, when it isn't, why do we as women try so fucking hard to hold onto it?

We make excuses. We make deals with ourselves, with God or whoever our higher power may be. We make promises to our friends that see we are in toxic situations and try to rescue us...promises we very likely have little to no intention of keeping. We look at ourselves and wonder what is wrong. If only I was thinner/prettier/richer/smarter/taller/shorter/had bigger boobs/a bigger ass. We try to change ourselves in order to be more of what we think someone wants.

Here's the thing though...if you aren't good enough the way you are...then newsflash: YOU ARE IN THE WRONG FUCKING RELATIONSHIP. The right guy (or girl I guess, it goes both ways) is going to love you for all your faults. And you will feel comfortable with him...telling him anything...being yourself. You don't keep him on a pedestal because he's human and has as many stupid quirks as you do. You don't put yourself out repeatedly if he isn't reciprocating. You don't owe him any more than he owes you- which is love, respect, and honesty.

You stop selling yourself short because you feel so lucky that someone is paying you any attention...even if it isn't positive attention.

Am I all preachy now because I think Stewart is awesome and it's all easy for me to say now? No. I'm all preachy because I am sick and tired of watching the girls I care about being treated badly when they are moving heaven and earth to make these men happy and these relationships work. We all deserve better.